Teaching Kids about coping with the Fear of Failure (Part 2)
Monkey boy deep in thought
In the first part of this post I gave a introduction to Monkey boy’s character and his abilities as a 10 year old. In the 2nd part of the post I’ll be sharing with everyone how I plan to help Monkey boy over come his fear of failure.
The need for wanting to change and overcome this stumbling block has to come from within to be successful. No amount of encouragement and help will be able to initiate the change unless he himself renders it possible.
As a parent the best that you can do is try to persuade and guide him on how to take the first step. You also need to provide him with all the necessary tools that he will need for this transformation to occur.
There are a few things which one can do when you feel fearful.
- You can create a safe place in your mind of psychically where you can retreat to in your time of need.
- You could extend loving support to yourself as you would to a good friend.
- Listen to soothing music or your favourite music.
- Practice gratitude by giving thanks for all your blessings.
- Visualize yourself as your favourite superhero.
It may be difficult for a ten year old to understand all the concepts mentioned above but I will be walking him through each and every one of them using age appropriate examples.
Together with Monkey boy we will choose which item(s) on the list he is most comfortable with and practice it together with him.
It is all in the mind and he needs to learn how to control his own emotions to be able to overcome the fear.
The aim is to get around the fear and focus on ~ I CAN DO IT!!
Monkey boy has to take a stand and know that there is a difference between what he wants and what has to be done to achieve the desired result.
Positive Affirmations are what I will be working on with Monkey boy on a daily basis. I will be getting him to write out two to three affirmations which we will paste at his bedside so he can look and read it out aloud twice daily- when he wakes up and before he goes to bed.
Motivational Poster
Check back in a few weeks where I will be updating this space on how the Positive Affirmations have been working for Monkey boy.
In the next post in this series I will be focusing on my #2 son- Doggie boy and the issues that we are currently facing with him.
Post in this series
– Parenting with Less Stress ( An Introduction)
– Teaching Kids about coping with the fear of Failure (Part 1)
– Teaching Kids about coping with the fear of Failure (Part 2)
– Encouraging a Struggling Learner (Part 1)
– Encouraging a Struggling Learner (Part 2)
-Dealing with a Strong Willed Child (Part 1)
– Dealing with a Strong Willed Child( Part 2)
March 27, 2014 @ 12:44 am
Great parenting tips! Always encourage the kids to be always positive in life and that we can DO everything if we put our heart and mind into it.
March 27, 2014 @ 3:45 am
Being positive is always a must for us parents. I lack that – I have to practice on that one. Especially patience.
March 27, 2014 @ 9:20 am
That’s the part I dread the most when it comes to penalty how to cope with loss, failure and sadness. As a parent I know that I can’t always protect them but I want to equip them with the right tools.
March 27, 2014 @ 11:33 am
Oh, I really love this because as a child, I’ve been afraid of failure. Growing up, I alternated between being a perfectionist and being too lax in my endeavors. I hope to teach my child(ren) these views.
March 27, 2014 @ 12:23 pm
I have found that highly competitive children tend to have a problem dealing with failure, the method that you shared for positive affirmation works really well to give them the encouragement and support. Also helping him to understand that failure is ok with u, as long as he puts in his best effort. Often children don’t want to fail as they don’t know how to deal with the disappointment, or disappointing people that matters to him. Failure can help children build their resilience and perseverance too, so coming from a society that do not allow room for failure, can put tremendous stress on the child. I feel that ultimately a child’s parents attitude towards failure will be key in helping the child manage it.
March 27, 2014 @ 7:06 pm
I think I will have to try the positive affirmations for my daughter who is afraid of trying because she’s afraid to fail and she keeps saying it’s hard.
March 28, 2014 @ 12:26 pm
very useful tips and the affirmation words would really be helpful.
I’ve been to a camp and one of the things that we always say is “I can because I believe I can”
March 28, 2014 @ 5:44 pm
I feel like your tips today aren’t just for parents, but it’s also for coaches or team leaders when it comes to newbies in their teams. Sometimes new employees tend to have low confidence and are full or anxiety. It causes more errors and mistakes. It is so much easier to dwell on the mistakes and to point out that lack of knowledge and skill, but what helps more is to be uplifting and looking at the small wins.
March 29, 2014 @ 4:27 am
Sounds like you are doing a great job in helping your son. Positive affirmations are definitely the way to go. Presenting options and ideas to help him control his own emotions and practicing those techniques with him are also great ways to go. Keep up the good work!
March 29, 2014 @ 3:15 pm
Thanks for sharing these tips. I also have a 10 year old. It is certainly a time when they can feel discouraged and confused!
March 30, 2014 @ 12:03 am
I’m looking forward to the update. Can’t wait to see if it worked.
March 30, 2014 @ 9:09 pm
These tips are applicable to adults also. Even as an adults I have my own fears of failure. Although I do not dwell on them too much, it lingers and I have moments when I revisit them.
March 31, 2014 @ 3:20 am
Ya know, as a child I was a horrible quitter. I always felt two different issues, either I was afraid of looking like a fool or of not being the best. And tragically, rather than help me as a little kid get over those feelings, my parents just let me quit. I quit everything, brownies, girl scouts, dance, acrobats, roller skating, band and after 12 years my favorite, acting.
When someone grows up abused and neglected, like I did, those feelings stay with you forever, and I still struggle with it
April 2, 2014 @ 3:19 am
Not comparing our accomplishments to others accomplishments is a big factor too. Loving who I am just as I am goes a long way.