Parenting and Kids

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Mid Year Reflections 2018

Do your best and GOD will do the rest

 

The exams are over and the kids are now having their month long holidays. It had been madness for me personally as I had a mammoth assignment to completed . It has been finally  submitted and I cleared that module. Yeah!! I have another 2 elective modules left and can’t wait to complete the course so that I can start on the new one that I have scheduled.

All the kids  have their results back and  there is certainly room for improvement and many components to work on as highlighted by the various teachers during the PTM. This year as usual it is me going for the sessions alone. It doesn’t bug me that much now that I’ve stop putting expectations on a  non-existent father of the kids. It was his choice to not participate in the upbringing of the kids and therefore we have cease pinning any hope on one who will only guarantee you a heartache and broken promise. It is an utter waste of effort to associate with deadwood who will only inflict back all the various forms of domestic abuse – financial, emotional and mental on the kids.  No doubt my parenting journey would be easier if there was a willing and participate partner but there has been no regrets for me moving on from a destructive person to save myself and the kids.

For the past six months it has been extremely quiet here on the blog as compared to how it was last year. With Doggie boy in Primary six this year I have to put in more effort in monitoring his work and coaching him. I’ve only have 3 months left to prepare him for the PSLE and it will be full steam ahead now that the June holidays are here. I really hope to be able to improve his competency in all 4 subjects so that he be able to get better grades. Will work extremely close with him in his revision.

Tiger girl is more independent this year being in Primary two. She is able to travel independently  by public transport and settle her own meals. She has been doing excellent work in school and getting along well with her peers.

Monkey boy has also matured now that he is in Secondary 2. He is more able to schedule his own time to focus on his studies and has managed to pull up his grades for most subjects. However he has yet to perform up to his true potential and I really feel that he can still be stretched further. Being a teenager he has been going through both physical and emotional changes which has let him to be quite rebellious.

The truth!!

The truth!!

What occurred during the past six months only reconfirmed my believe in the above proclamation.  It is not easy to be a parent and a GOOD one to boost. There is the need for a lot of dedication and self- discipline to put the child’s needs above your own personal pleasure and selfish wants.  No doubt it is important to exercise  self care but if it is at the determent of your child one better start to reflect of their said actions.

It is a real pity that more and more people are unwilling to commit fully to the upbringing of a child. As a result the poor child suffers from bad/ absent parenting as the ” so called parent” is too busy chasing after the latest fads, brands,  focusing on satisfying their needs for vanity, material positions or lust. Indulging in sexual immorality and various other unwanted social ills and addictions just for some instant satisfaction which only will cause massive tears within the fabrics of the parent-child relationship.

As a result of their  continual insanity and disillusion thinking  they rip apart the trust that the child/children used to have for them and remove any shred of possibility of having a normal parent/ grandparent-child relationship. I find this extremely very unfair to the child who SHOULD be given a proper relationship with the whole family.

My personal opinion  is if one is so unwilling to be a proper parent/ grandparent he should be totally removed from the child’s life as not to give the innocent bad example and tramatize the kids further with his deliberate choice not to carry out his parental duties. The most appropriate action he should do would be to provide financially for the kids especially if he is more than capable to.  Unfortunately such abusers do not even want the kids to live a decent life by providing adequate monthly maintenance so that the children can enjoy their childhood.

Opting to be out of the picture these utterly wicked individuals  and their flying monkeys have no right to claim any support from the kids once they enter their twilight years and become frail and helpless. There will be no opportunity for any guilt tripping and gas-lighting to occur with my kids as they have already seen through their true colors and will not be hoodwinked anymore by the vampire  and witch clans.  No doubt I would like them to have proper/ real relationships and also a “complete” family (as based on society’s standards) it is not something which is a must for now.

My Definition of a “complete” family is one where all individuals who choose to be part of the family love and trust each other  and will do their best to keep each other grounded. There is unity  with GOD as our central pillar of strength. Having spending more time doing various bible studies this year my understanding of the WORD has certainly deepened and it has been with his grace that we were able to tie through all the turbulence which we had this 2018.

Challenges have been a plenty however I take it all in my stride as I march forward putting my best foot first. With GOD as my protector and guide I am sure I’ll be able to survive all obstacles that I will/may face.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Finding a New Me- Spiritual Wellness

Spiritual Wellness

Spiritual Wellness

 

2018 had started out with me being in a very reflective mood. I had been thinking a lot on how I could have a closer walk with GOD and understand the scriptures better.  For many years I have been thinking of how I could improve spiritual health as I know that it hasn’t been very good.

I grew up in a Catholic family and have been following their traditions and customs when I was growing up. Now as an adult I start questioning more about the validity of certain traditions and if they were really meant as GOD wanted for us. Many customs  that are found in religion are man made and not justified by the WORD as so I question the meaning of having them and just following suit blindly. I couldn’t find answers with the church nor could the community that I was in help me find the answers to the questions that I had.  As I searched more traditions and customs that I had been made to observe started to make no sense to me. I didn’t want to blindly follow and go through the motions nor remain as a Sunday catholic anymore. Religion should play a more significant part of my life and be a pillar of the kids lives too.

Since 2016 I decided to start reading the bible and started up doing bible studies by following the schedules which were created by the LOVE GOD GREATLY community. I followed along each time a new bible study was added and have gone through 22 focused studies to date.  I started visiting other churches and moved out of the Catholic realm altogether.  I explored the Anglican, Methodist and Baptist Church before finding the one which the kids and I are most comfortable in last December. Since changing to this current church the kids and I are looking forward more eagerly to spending time in GOD’s house on Sundays. Having the proper spiritual support system in place is important as with the numerous evils in this world we need to give the kids the best arsenal possible in the event that they need to be involved in a spiritual battle.

My focus

My focus

The path to GOD is not easy. I have been told that I will face difficulties and be set on challenges which I will have to pass before I’m able to step up a step closer to him. My values and believes will be constantly tested and only if I surrender all and lean on him for support will I be able to sustain myself on this journey here on earth. There will constantly be temptations of this WORLD which try to sway me and I know that  I have him with me to deflect the urges for personal gratification and material accumulation which should not be my focus at all.  However come all that may I’m still going to place my bet on GOD.

Through  the turmoil that I have endured these past few years I now know how important it is to be centered personally in Christ. It can be said that I have had a spiritual awakening and have personally experienced how he has worked wonders in my life and pulled me through one of the most challenging times of my life to date with the numerous life altering decisions that I had to make since 2016.

To know  GOD is to immerse yourself completely with him. Daily scripture reading is a habit which I have cultivated and will be modelling to the kids so they too can experience the wonders of the WORD that GOD has given us.  Without GOD we will not be able to enjoy the peace and joy that we seek.

To know the WORD is not enough.  One must take action and be the living example if they want their kids too grow in their faith. This year I aim to bring prayer actively into my household and to immerse the kids in his WORD.

How do you focus on building up your Spiritual Wellness?