Writer’s Workshop: Parents -In-Laws
I was extremely nervous when I met my in-laws for the first time. We have been dating for about a year and it was the first time that I flew in to Hong Kong with him to meet his parents. It was a major step in our relationship to be introduced to each other’s parents and see whether they approve of our union. I have heard from friends that it was essential to get support from his parents as it would certainly be to my advantage if we do get into rough patches in our relationship in the future.
Meeting his parents for the first time felt like going for a interview and hoping that the end outcome would be in a favourable position for me. Even though I have been briefed about what to expect and also brought along specially selected gifts I was afraid that I may give the wrong answer to any questions which was asked and fail the “assessment”.
I knew that if you love a guy you will have to take the whole package which comes with it and a big part is to be able to hit it off with his parents. Maybe I have been watching too many Chinese drama serials where the boy’s parents can literally make “hell” for the girlfriend if they disliked her or found her status too lowly and not comparable to their son. Looking back it was just me letting my imagination go wild and scaring myself.
The meeting went off well and I did leave a favourable impression on them. It was the start to a relationship which has been 13 years ans still going on strong.
How was your 1st meeting with your parents-in-laws?
What advice would you give new couples?
March 8, 2012 @ 5:24 pm
Nicely written.
March 8, 2012 @ 6:25 pm
1) My ex-PIL were not in favor of me as I’m Asian. They were polite but not at all friendly.
2) My advice is just be natural and be yourself with great manners.
March 8, 2012 @ 6:43 pm
I wasn’t quite nervous when the first time meeting my then future-PIL. Actually I was more nervous to meet his mother. From my past experience, it was the mother who was normally the ‘tiger’. Turned out his mother was very nice, friendly and warm. I really liked her. Even before our marriage, after the two family get together, she asked me to call her “mom”.
Unfortunately she passed away a month before our marriage 🙁
I think my advise is to just be yourself and let it flow.
March 8, 2012 @ 9:28 pm
My in-laws were wonderful. My parents were a challenge for my husband. They are very unique.
March 8, 2012 @ 10:29 pm
This is a beautiful and handsome family Dominique, it shows in the pose, the manner, and even the eyes, Meeting your future in-laws is a very major step in the courting process. I am glad it went well. 🙂
My first meeting with my in-laws went well. I suppose they didn’t approve entirely of me as at that time I had longer hair, to my collar, and rode a motorcycle.
Advice to couples on this is that the parents won’t change very much for you. But you will still be changing a lot. Like me, my hair now is a respectable length, I don’t ride a motorcycle, and I finally finished college.
..
March 9, 2012 @ 1:45 pm
@Jim
thanks for your kind words. I guess for your case your relationship with your in-laws gets better over time too.
March 8, 2012 @ 11:20 pm
I’m so glad everything worked out when you met your parents-in-laws. I can just imagine how nervous you were. My in-laws have since passed on so now it is just the two of us. Wonderful post for this week.
March 9, 2012 @ 2:14 am
It was probably just like anyone…In some ways I wished that they would like me and we would have a great relationship, but then, I realized, that I am better off the way it is now.
March 9, 2012 @ 5:49 am
My future in-laws were absolutely wonderful! They accepted me right away. And yes, making a good impression is very important!
March 9, 2012 @ 6:04 am
A very lovely photo of all….it all gets easier with time….enjoy your journey together.
March 9, 2012 @ 6:58 am
that is a lovely photo!
first time for me was only
father … his mother had
already passed. there were
2 sons and no daughters
so future father-in-law
treated me like only
daughter…
visiting via alphabeThursday!
~victoria~
March 9, 2012 @ 9:34 am
A lovely photo. You look radient! I regretted not having my parents taking studio photo with me seeing your photo.here.
The first time I met my in laws was meeting the whole family – all my hubby’s siblings, sister in laws, nieces and nephews. I wasn’t nervous at all though. Probably there were a big group of people, not just focus on parents in law. Hahaha…
March 9, 2012 @ 10:48 am
@Shook,
thanks..actually that picture was not taken before our wedding but only after Monkey boy was born and we brought him back when he was 1 yr old. Didn’t have any pictures taken with the whole family (photoshoot) so we did it then as his sister just flew in from USA.
March 9, 2012 @ 12:56 pm
My ex-inlaws were wonderful … they were friendly and welcoming right off the bat, my only advice would be to be yourself!
March 9, 2012 @ 1:44 pm
@Jo,
that’s some good advice to be yourself.
March 9, 2012 @ 1:35 pm
You rented the kua from the studio?
You still very slender after you delivered Monkey boy
March 9, 2012 @ 1:43 pm
@Shook,
Didn’t have to rent the Kua from the studio.. just pick whatever I wanted to wear from the rack. Allowed 3 different dresses/ outfits as it’s my hb’s friend’s studio. Corrections..the photo was taken after Doggie boy was born. typo error. We bring them back to HK to celebrate their 1st birthday. 😛
March 9, 2012 @ 1:47 pm
Wow! 2nd delivery yet so slender.
March 9, 2012 @ 7:37 pm
I met my in-laws after about two months of dating as was so nervous I can only imagine after a year… and flying to Hong Kong!
March 10, 2012 @ 3:37 am
I’m so glad it all turned out great and now you still have an ongoing relationship.
1. When I first met m in-laws I had spoken to them before and through email. When I met them I had to live with them for awhile before I got married and in honesty they were very nice and welcoming. Some things they were foreign to though.
2. I would say, breathe, relax and just be yourself and show respect. If you be a fake version of yourself, you’ll always be putting on a show for the inlaws and it will tax you.
Have a great weekend!
March 11, 2012 @ 8:54 am
Lovely photo. For me, the first time I met my mother-in-law my hubby took me by her house and as we walked in the door, he announced our arrival and she yelled from the back room….”are you married yet”. We both laughed out loud and have been laughing ever since. She’s a wonderful mother-in-law.
March 16, 2012 @ 6:43 am
My second husband has no relatives. I did escape the trauma of meeting the ‘in-laws’ but I often wish he had family to share with me!
That is a neat picture you shared, too.
I’m glad they were so good to you…
They recognized a particularly good thing for their son when they saw her!
Thanks for linking.
A+