Relationships are something that can be very complicated. It is something that needs constant working on to make it last. It takes effort on the part of more then one individual to create the relationship which you would like to have.
It take both parties to make a conscious effort to make the relationship work. It is a delicate balance which dynamics is constantly changing. The needs and desires of the persons involved in the relationships also changes as they age or grow up. It is not easy however with much effort by all parties involve it will survive the test of time.
I find that it is really pathetic for parents to make lame excuses for the adult kids who did not turn up for the birthday celebration of the matriarch of the family. Sometimes they don’t even bother explaining why their kids are skipping family functions/new year celebrations and just turn up alone. To me it shows that they do not value relationships or teaching their kids the importance of maintaining blood relationships.
Future generations and the next generation will never be close to each other as the kids were never given the chance to build up bonds with each other. The older generation sometimes don’t think much about the reaction behind their selfish intention of being “nice” to their children by giving in to their whims and fancies that they are in fact harming them indirectly. Cousins will not know much about each other and their children too will be distant from each other. Even if they do see each other once a year or once in two year there is no interaction or treat each other like strangers.
It is really unfortunate that such disintegration of relationships do occur due to the carelessness of the elders. I’m working towards this not happening for my own kids by teaching them how to value the relationships that they have. I’m also teaching them how to be selective in their relationships and to discard any which have turned toxic or has the potential to be toxic and draining on them.
Sometimes when one party doesn’t make the effort or starts to take advantage of the relationship all trust and respect which had build up over the year goes flying out the window. Sometime the relationship fractures into pieces and it maybe in your best interest to discard the broken relationship then to pick up and try to mend the broken pieces. It just isn’t worth it working on a hopeless relationship.
Blood relations DOESN’T equate to FAMILY. To me it doesn’t mean that because that person is your aunt or grandaunt or cousin he/she is FAMILY. FAMILY = people who really care and show concern for each other. The people in the family will not look down or backbite each other. They put the other person’s interest first before self and really value you as a person to be with you. They are people that you can rely on irregardless of the situation you are in.
What have you been thinking about this week?