April 3, 2014

Writer’s Workshop: The Six Lessons from Monkey Boy

Dominique Parenting and Kids, Thoughts talkative thursday

My eldest ,Monkey boy, has been teaching me many parenting lessons since he was born. He isn’t what would you call a “typical” child and you needed to really think out of the box to be able to do “combat” with him on a daily basis.

Here are 6 things that I have learned from him.

1. There is a need for a backup plan
   Always have a Plan B or Plan  C on standby as things may not go as you envision.  When you have kids you can expect that if your plan does go through it will be executed 100% and to the T. However there maybe  a 95% failure rate due to many variables involved which includes the kid(s) behaviour and mood of the day.
2. Patience is Golden
   Nothing is impossible. If there is a way to solve the problem you will find it. You just have to be patient.
   I’ve realised that being agitated and frustrated with the kid doesn’t give you any benefit. Both of you are left bitter with each other and the matter is left unresolved. Pent up feelings would only lead to blowouts and rifts within the parent-child relationship which you have so tenderly nurtured.  It is best to keep your cool and it would be easier for you to analyze the situation in order to solve the problem.  Certain things cannot be rushed.
3. Buy multiples of the same item especially if your kid is crazy over it.
   I remember that I had to scout the whole of the island  to buy a replacement  Nuby water bottle for him as it got too old and the straw got chewed in. From that time onwards I looked out for Nuby water bottles and if there happened to be sales on I would stock up on it for future use.  We did use every one of the water bottles that I bought and some were even passed over to Doggie boy to use when he came of age back then.
4. Let the child decide on what he wants to wear/carry. (If it is within reasons) 

   I had a hard time getting Monkey boy to wear his school uniform to school when he was a toddler. On certain days he would insist on wearing his home clothes or carry a certain bag to school instead of his usual school bag.  I realised that it is not a battle worth fighting with the child and reasoning doesn’t go well with a 2-3 year old.Nowadays with Tiger girl if she pulls the same stunt I would simply pack her uniform in her school bag and she would change into it when she reaches school.

5. Silence is NOT Golden.

   Silence with kids in the house can only mean two things. The kid has fallen asleep or is up to mischief.  Most of the time I hope that it was the former then the latter but it hasn’t been the case on most occasions.Overturning a bottle of oil across the whole kitchen floor and swimming in it  and having soap all over the bathroom floor as just some spills which I had to clean up after Monkey boy. Trust me it was seriously hard work doing  the clean up after him.

6. You need to have all your tracks covered in order to win a verbal argument. 

   You be amaze how apt these little people are at stating their points in the most convincing ways. They will win even the best criminal lawyers hands down. Black gets turned into white and all the gray spots in between get wormed to their advantage.  They know if there are any loopholes in an argument and will use it to their maximum benefit.
   It’s best to get everything stated in black and white if possible and get the child to repeat back to you the instructions word for word and explain to you what he understands regarding the instructions.
   Many a times I have been conned by Monkey boy who insisted that I did say stop playing at 5.40pm but didn’t state which watch/ clock I was referring to and that his watch only states 5.30pm so it was not time yet to stop playing. ( I half suspected he must have adjusted the timing on his watch so that it is slower by 10 minutes!!)

What have you learned from your

oldest child?

Are the lessons unforgettable?