Writer’s Workshop: Patience is Golden
A unopened bloom
“Patience is something which every mother needs to cultivate. “
Those were the words that my mum gave me when Monkey boy was born 10 years ago. Back then I couldn’t fully understand the meaning of her words. I brushed aside her words as I though it was just frivolous talk. Little did I know how true it was.
Patience is something which I didn’t have much of as a child. A minute really seems like an eternity and seconds tick by really painfully.
I guess that in today’s modern world instant gratification/results are expected and people get irritated if they have to wait. It seems torturous if one has to grit your teeth and endure the agonizing moments while anticipating something to happen. It is only when something drastically happens in your life that your perception of being patient changes.
Having a child really challenges your ability in endurance. It makes the difficulties that you have faced prior to his birth pale in comparison.
Monkey boy when he was a year old
5th March 2004 – The day when I first became a mom when Monkey boy was born.
It was a life altering day for me. That day was the day that I received my first lesson in patience from my first born.
Handling a newborn was quite overwhelming at that time. Being a high needs baby Monkey boy required my attention 24/7. It left me sleep deprived and totally exhausted during the first few months.
It wore me down physically and mentally and I was easily frustrated and irritable. On certain days I really felt like throwing in the towel and declare that Motherhood is so NOT my cup of tea.
My patience was at an all time low and it was exasperating having to deal with a colicky baby who needed constant feeding and wouldn’t sleep. I was feeling desperate and helpless being the Monkey boy’s sole caregiver.
I knew that I had to do something or else I may slip into post natal depression. It was then that I realized that it was pointless for me to get angry and irritated at Monkey boy for turning my life upside down. He was oblivious to how I was feeling and it was I myself making myself feel miserable.
I needed a change of mindset. I needed to identify my triggers, to be more tolerant and learn to let go. It isn’t easy but it was something that I had to do in order to be more patient with my child.
Patience is a virtue which I have been cultivating since then. It has provided me with perspective to see new possibilities that I might otherwise miss if I had rush through the process.
It made me more accepting of my environment and my frustrations and difficulties lessened. Nothing is beyond me. I can and will get through it.
What advice has your mother given you?
Was it useful to you?
March 6, 2014 @ 7:08 pm
Congratulations, it was great that you realized your triggers early enough 🙂 And happy birthday to Monkey Boy.
I have a lot of patience, but when I’m short of sleep, I find that my patience runs out quickly while looking after my 3 year old nephew. Good thing when the boyfriend is around, he compensates for my crankiness. I am practicing having even more patience for when I have my own kids in the future. 🙂
March 6, 2014 @ 9:17 pm
Yes, we do learn patience as we become Moms. I use to get mad every morning just to wake him up for school! Somehow, later we develop patientce as we understand their character more and as we also learn how to psychologize them!
March 6, 2014 @ 10:05 pm
Oh such wise words in the society we live in these days. Things move a million miles per hour so when they don’t, it can be painful. Your little guy is darling. Patience with children can be terribly hard but a must. This is a nice reminder.
March 6, 2014 @ 11:01 pm
happy birthday to your darling boy. Thank you for sharing your sweet blog at the Thursday Favorite Things blog hop ♥
March 7, 2014 @ 8:49 am
Like you, if there’s one important thing I learn from being a Mom for the first time is to have more and endless patient. Guilt and frustrations wills always be there, and at times I let them enter my system. But at the end of the day, it’s the love that I feel for my son and family that keeps me going. And the love they gave me back makes me feel happiness beyond reasonable doubt. Belated Happy birthday Monkey boy. (by the way he’s so cute, chubby cheeks in his baby photo)
March 7, 2014 @ 1:31 pm
I grow up with so much patience in me now that I have a child it become double because I have too, especially infants doesn’t know what’s going on yet and they are learning everyday, it is frustrating sometime but I have to be more understanding.
March 7, 2014 @ 10:27 pm
I always considered myself a patient person until I had kids. Now I know why they say it is a virtue! I love the way you took it in and decided to work with it.
Thanks for linking up at #theultimateparty today!
March 7, 2014 @ 10:29 pm
My mom has given me so much advice over the years–she is still the one I turn to when I need some human wisdom and advice. I’m so thankful for her support and friendship now as I am older.