Relationships

Weekend Reflection: An Enduring Friendship

Birthday cake

 The birthday cake that we picked out for RK

Last weekend we had a rare visitor to our house. R’s best friend RK was in town to visit his relatives and to spend some time with us.  It has been a long time since he  has visited us with his last trip to Singapore being 4 years ago. The kids do meet up with RK when we go back to Hong Kong to visit the family and were thrilled to have him come over this time.

RK and R’s friendship goes back  to their school boy days. Both of them were acquainted in their high school years and have know each other for more then two decades. RK was our best man at our wedding and our wedding photos were all taken in his studio back in Hong Kong. The two best friends have always kept in contact even though they haven’t been staying in the same country for the past 15 years. They can talk about anything under the sun and truly enjoy each other’s company.

 

I hope that my kids too will be able to forge such strong friendships like their dad has. Friendship that spans past more then two decades and stand the test of time.

Do you wish for the same thing for your kids too?

 

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Guest Post: Do you have each other’s backs?

I recently watched an episode of Up All Night, where Christina Applegate’s character Reagan goes on a mean-spree through the airport in her stress of traveling with an infant, all the while her husband Chris, played by Will Arnett, follows behind her apologizing for her and trying to play it cool.

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At one point, Reagan just looks at her husband Chris, and asks him,  “Why can’t you just have my back?” It is a really great episode, and
any parent who has travelled with small children will find it hilariously accurate and entertaining.

So, the other morning I woke up and went about my normal morning routine: make coffee, get breakfast going, pack a lunch, attempt to
keep my daughter from getting into everything at the same time.  My husband had just come out of our bedroom, dressed quite
handsomely for work, and my daughter was waving around the Swiffer sweeper like a dangerous baton.

As I’m busy trying to get his lunch together, behind me I hear a frustrated snap at my daughter and instantly, without much hesitation,
mama bear rises up in me.  “Don’t yell at her.  What did she do?”  I put my husband on the defensive, my daughter is upset.
She had smacked his clean pants with the dirty sweeper.
The morning ends with this statement, “Why can’t you just let me be a parent, too?”

Ouch.  As the hubs left for work, without our usual loving good-bye, I felt the sting of truth.  I was instantly reminded of
the episode I had just watched.  Why couldn’t I have just had my husband’s back?

My husband is an awesome father, one who loves his daughter so incredibly much.  And it is clear in everything he does that this
is the case.  I have no reason to deny him my support when he does what he is supposed to do as a parent: discipline, correct, etc.
If I want to him to flourish in his role as a father, I have to give him my backing and support.

My encouragement to you today is: to stand by each other; have each other’s backs.  As parents, we have such a difficult job, one
that has its own unique challenges for both mothers and fathers.
We need each other to make it work well.  It doesn’t stop at parenting either.  It is important in maintaining a strong marriage as well.

When you don’t feel supported in something that is important to you, especially by the person who is closest to you, it can be a huge discouragement.

I don’t know what I’d do if my husband didn’t support my passion to write, or my desire to lose weight.  It is his constant support
and affirmation that spurs me on and gives me that extra “push” to not give up when things are tough.

As I reflect on that morning, I realize that I need to show my husband that I do have his back, and that I support him as a father.
Lesson learned.

How do you show your spouse that you have their back?

 In what ways does your spouse show you?

Courtney is a wife, mother and writer.  She loves to encourage others in marriage and motherhood.  To connect more with her,
visit her blog: Baxtron{Life}.