Guest Post: Do you have each other’s backs?

I recently watched an episode of Up All Night, where Christina Applegate’s character Reagan goes on a mean-spree through the airport in her stress of traveling with an infant, all the while her husband Chris, played by Will Arnett, follows behind her apologizing for her and trying to play it cool.


At one point, Reagan just looks at her husband Chris, and asks him,  “Why can’t you just have my back?” It is a really great episode, and
any parent who has travelled with small children will find it hilariously accurate and entertaining.

So, the other morning I woke up and went about my normal morning routine: make coffee, get breakfast going, pack a lunch, attempt to
keep my daughter from getting into everything at the same time.  My husband had just come out of our bedroom, dressed quite
handsomely for work, and my daughter was waving around the Swiffer sweeper like a dangerous baton.

As I’m busy trying to get his lunch together, behind me I hear a frustrated snap at my daughter and instantly, without much hesitation,
mama bear rises up in me.  “Don’t yell at her.  What did she do?”  I put my husband on the defensive, my daughter is upset.
She had smacked his clean pants with the dirty sweeper.
The morning ends with this statement, “Why can’t you just let me be a parent, too?”

Ouch.  As the hubs left for work, without our usual loving good-bye, I felt the sting of truth.  I was instantly reminded of
the episode I had just watched.  Why couldn’t I have just had my husband’s back?

My husband is an awesome father, one who loves his daughter so incredibly much.  And it is clear in everything he does that this
is the case.  I have no reason to deny him my support when he does what he is supposed to do as a parent: discipline, correct, etc.
If I want to him to flourish in his role as a father, I have to give him my backing and support.

My encouragement to you today is: to stand by each other; have each other’s backs.  As parents, we have such a difficult job, one
that has its own unique challenges for both mothers and fathers.
We need each other to make it work well.  It doesn’t stop at parenting either.  It is important in maintaining a strong marriage as well.

When you don’t feel supported in something that is important to you, especially by the person who is closest to you, it can be a huge discouragement.

I don’t know what I’d do if my husband didn’t support my passion to write, or my desire to lose weight.  It is his constant support
and affirmation that spurs me on and gives me that extra “push” to not give up when things are tough.

As I reflect on that morning, I realize that I need to show my husband that I do have his back, and that I support him as a father.
Lesson learned.

How do you show your spouse that you have their back?

 In what ways does your spouse show you?

Courtney is a wife, mother and writer.  She loves to encourage others in marriage and motherhood.  To connect more with her,
visit her blog: Baxtron{Life}.