Last week while out snapping pictures of the mid autumn lanterns I managed to capture this shot of Tiger girl resting on the shoulders of R. It got me thinking how important it is for us as parents to be like a rock for our kids.
Our kids depend on us for a wide variety of things. From physical to emotional support and everything in between. We are their caregiver, financial support, teacher and advisor. Their pillar of strength which they look to in times or need. Their refuge when they seek warmth and comfort. A shoulder for them to lean on when their burden gets too heavy to bear alone.
As a parent we build and make the home that they live in. We help create the memories that will be cherished and remembered all throughout their lives and ours. We give them the skills they need and all the help necessary for them to become independent and self reliant individuals. Whatever we do leaves a big impact on their lives in both positive and negative ways.
It is a real astronomical responsibility that we have as a parent to be a positive influence in our kids life. I count it as a blessing from GOD instead of a burden. It is a gift to be able to be there for our kids in times of pain and sorrow. A shoulder for them to lean on.
Have you been reflecting on your role as a parent lately?
The past week I’ve been reading a lot about families and teaching kids about being grateful. Many kids nowadays are more privileged then we were when we were a kid. It is easier for them to get their wants and fancies met as parents and doting grandparents are more willing to indulge them.
As a parent I know all to well how over indulging your kids can be more harmful then good for them. It is really naive to think it is okay to give in to them as they are “young” and they will outgrow such a behaviour when they get older. The sad truth is that growing older in age doesn’t always equal maturity. I have seen how overindulgence have let to the breeding of spoilt brats who in turn become obnoxious adults.
I have personally seen how overindulging a child from young has affected his ability to become independent and a responsible adult. It was a real pity to see a promising young boy have his life “wasted” and turn into a real shame. His skewed mentality that his parents will always be there to bail him out financially and give him mental support irregardless of what he does has seen him fail in both his relationships and career.
I really wonder how long can the parents of this “boy” be blinded by the so called act of unconditional love? It’s simply ludicrous for a parent to constantly bail out his/her child and solving his problems for him even when he is a 40 yr old adult. I feel that is being really selfish as a parent to prevent their child from being able to grow up.
Yes we do need to be there for our kids and help them on their way if they do falter. However there should be a limit to it and the child should learn how to pick up his own pieces and move on. They need our guidance and help but more importantly need to be able to make their own decisions and live with the consequences.
Nothing was given to us on a silver platter and we had to work hard/ save up to get what we desired. It should be the same for the kids too.
Being grateful and appreciative of the perks that one gets is not something that it manifested overnight. It has to be learned.
We have to start teaching them their P’s and Q’s from young and model for them how they are expected to behave. Constant reminders and offering of age appropriate incentives when they are kids while help to reinforce the need to be grateful and appreciative.
Teach them to be grateful while learning how to earn their keep by working towards their goals and aspirations. We as parents only get one shot at installing these values in them and what better time then now when they are still kids?
