This past week I have been spending a lot of time with R.
It has been some time since we last went on a kid free holiday. It felt so carefree and relax as I need not need to lug around extra luggage and carry the boys (especially Roy) when they get tired. Lugging a 14kg toddler is not something that I fancy as it would mean an aching back and arms. It also will relate to me being unable to do any shopping or spending time chatting with my friends in a cafe.
It is great to be able to sleep in and not be constantly interrupted during the night by Roy waking up and I having to go over to pacify him or him climbing into bed with us.
I have the opportunity to walk hand in hand with R browsing through window displays and talking about the plans that we have for ourselves as a couple and as a family.
When is the last time you spend time together without the kids?
Last weekend was a real emotionally packed weekend at the marriage retreat which I attended. I got to learn more about how to communicate actively with my other half and use dialogue to get to know each other better.
Many times problems arise in couples as we are unsure on how to use the correct word to communicate with each other. We start pointing the finger and start picking faults at one another.
At this retreat I learned how to dialogue using only your feelings. You express your feelings to each other about specific issues in different ways. There is no judgement and no harsh words used.
You describe your feeling using – Pictures, colours, smells etc.
Eg: Question- How do you feel about having to feed the boys dinner every night.
I answered the following.
I feel simply exhausted having to spend every afternoon seeing to the boys meal. My feeling is like having a ton of bricks falling down upon you. If being exhausted is a colour it would be a dull grey. On an scale of 1 t0 10 the intensity is a 8/10. If my feeling of exhaustion is based on a shared moment it would be when the both of us were stuck in the railway station waiting for the next train back to Geelong after we missed the previous train.
The weekend was only a start to building up a more solid marriage. I will be going for the 6 week follow up sessions and also taking part in the challenge over at Simple Marriage.