Weekend Reflections: Teaching them Right
The past week I’ve been reading a lot about families and teaching kids about being grateful. Many kids nowadays are more privileged then we were when we were a kid. It is easier for them to get their wants and fancies met as parents and doting grandparents are more willing to indulge them.
As a parent I know all to well how over indulging your kids can be more harmful then good for them. It is really naive to think it is okay to give in to them as they are “young” and they will outgrow such a behaviour when they get older. The sad truth is that growing older in age doesn’t always equal maturity. I have seen how overindulgence have let to the breeding of spoilt brats who in turn become obnoxious adults.
I have personally seen how overindulging a child from young has affected his ability to become independent and a responsible adult. It was a real pity to see a promising young boy have his life “wasted” and turn into a real shame. His skewed mentality that his parents will always be there to bail him out financially and give him mental support irregardless of what he does has seen him fail in both his relationships and career.
I really wonder how long can the parents of this “boy” be blinded by the so called act of unconditional love? It’s simply ludicrous for a parent to constantly bail out his/her child and solving his problems for him even when he is a 40 yr old adult. I feel that is being really selfish as a parent to prevent their child from being able to grow up.
Yes we do need to be there for our kids and help them on their way if they do falter. However there should be a limit to it and the child should learn how to pick up his own pieces and move on. They need our guidance and help but more importantly need to be able to make their own decisions and live with the consequences.
Nothing was given to us on a silver platter and we had to work hard/ save up to get what we desired. It should be the same for the kids too.
Being grateful and appreciative of the perks that one gets is not something that it manifested overnight. It has to be learned.
We have to start teaching them their P’s and Q’s from young and model for them how they are expected to behave. Constant reminders and offering of age appropriate incentives when they are kids while help to reinforce the need to be grateful and appreciative.
Teach them to be grateful while learning how to earn their keep by working towards their goals and aspirations. We as parents only get one shot at installing these values in them and what better time then now when they are still kids?
What are your thoughts on teaching them right?
Join in this week with your weekend reflections.
September 8, 2012 @ 1:59 pm
i agree. sometimes, over indulging can harm the kid. they would think that they can have anything and everything they want with the snap of their fingers. thanks for sharing!
(on the side note: i think i applied for weekend reflection something. i’m sorry. i can’t join this sharing for now. i will try next time though. kindly take out my name. thanks.)
September 8, 2012 @ 7:51 pm
@Postcardtrail,
Noted..taken out your name. Hope you can join me one of the weekends. Thanks for your comments.
September 8, 2012 @ 4:58 pm
Can’t agree more. Kids today do not go through hardship. They do not know things come through with effort and price. They take things for granted. Also, they become demanding through peer pressure,
September 8, 2012 @ 10:02 pm
I’m guilty of overindulging my little ones. There’s really this urge to give them and to let them experience those I did not have nor experience when I was a child. We teach them though to be grateful for everything they have and teach them to share their blessings with the less fortunate.
September 8, 2012 @ 11:22 pm
I’m guilty on overindulging my kids so now that they are 6 and 4 yrs old, I started to be strict which they don’t or can’t accept so in turn they fight with me. Compared to how they react to their dad, they follow their dad, not me. My fault I know, so am just sticking with my being strict, as agreed by me and hubby, though I have to admit I cry when they are not around. 🙁
September 8, 2012 @ 11:47 pm
Very well said. Teaching them the earliest is what matter the most. The general rule “first impressions last” applies into teaching kids as well.
September 9, 2012 @ 9:23 pm
I’ve seen overindulgence hinder growth too, and like you, I know a 40 yr. old who is having a very hard time growing up (yeah, at 40) because her parents have always bailed her out or given her what she wanted/needed, even to the point of their financial ruin.
This is an excellent post, and I like your point that parents who are over-indulging their children are being selfish too. It is taking the easy way to give out rather than be strong and give them the tools they need to make it on their own when they are grown.
September 9, 2012 @ 9:31 pm
I still don’t have my own child but I know what you’re pointing at. Too bad my generation don’t know what they have right now. They must be well-disciplined.
September 9, 2012 @ 10:13 pm
As my son sets off into adulthood, I can’t count the number of times I’ve said, “You won’t start where we are… You start at the bottom and have to work your way up.” It’s the truth of adulthood. I, too, have seen too many adults who don’t really know how to live as adults because they’ve been indulged by parents. There’s a fine line between encouraging and spoiling/undermining your child’s future. I trust God to give me the right perspective. So far so good with mine! 🙂
September 9, 2012 @ 10:16 pm
So true! We all want to shelter them, but really there is just so much we should do, and often we ignore it for the sake of our emotions! Thanks for the awesome post!
September 9, 2012 @ 10:36 pm
I totally agree, great post!!!
September 10, 2012 @ 3:45 am
I agree 100% although there have been a few times I’ve have some moments of overindulging with my kids for the most part I’ve tried to teach them in life you don’t get something for nothing.
September 10, 2012 @ 1:56 pm
I think a great thing to remember for parents is that our goal is to raise independent adults. With that said, we really shouldn’t be bailing them out at 40! We should, from the very beginning, help them to think for themselves and make right decisions.
September 11, 2012 @ 11:38 pm
Great post, Dominique!
As early as two years old, I’ve instilled in my son the value of money, and that he can’t have everything that he wants. I don’t want to spoil the little man rotten, even if the grandparents do. Haha! 🙂