Social wellness refers to the relationships we have and how we interact with others. Our relationships can offer support during difficult times. It is important to build healthy, nurturing and supportive relationships as well as fostering a genuine connection with those around you.
As they say the circle of friends you hang around with defines you. They help to shape your thoughts and perception on how you want to lead your life. Therefore it is extremely important to be careful about who you let into your inner circle.
Quality vs Quantity
As I grow older I get more selective about who I want around me. Not everyone may be who they seem on first experience. Sometimes something that seems too good to be true may turn out to be a rotten apple disguised as a golden one. Relationships have to be two ways be it with benefits, communication and understanding for it to be long lasting. It cannot be something one sided where one party continually takes what the other offers and suck him dry over time.
A Mantra I follow
I’ve met many people who are FAKE . They pretend to be nice and concern about you but in actuality they are just sizing you up so that they can exploit your trust, abilities and achievement for their own personal benefits. When they are being called out for their inconsistencies / lies or exaggerations they become defensive and even abusive attacking your character and values. The mask that they have been parading around drops and their true behavior and intentions can be seen. They refuse to take responsibility for their own action and blame everyone else except themselves. These individuals are Highly delusional and I refuse to have them around me and the kids. Period.
Blood relationships are not as important to me as before. I’ve learnt that not all are your family. Some of my previous relationships are now of no significance to me especially when they are from highly toxic individuals with tainted blood. It was a pity that I was born into a toxic extended family. Their constant bickering and comparison had affected me and my perception of what a relationship should be.
It had taken me quite awhile to eliminate all the toxic ones who were outwardly and/or passively aggressive to me and the kids. We deserve a normal life and one which is free from others who were constantly undermining or demeaning us for their own selfish agenda.
Life is difficult enough as a single mom of three and there is no need to add on unwanted and nonsensical drama by these delusional individuals to our lives to make it harder.
Another mantra which I subscribe to.
I frown upon people who easily pass judgment on others so they “appear” to be superior to others. Who are they to judge when GOD doesn’t judge? No doubt you and I have flaws but it is not something to be constantly targeted by others in attempt to bring down your level of self confidence or bully you into submission with their constant criticism .
Emerging from a 20 yr long abusive relationship I’ve grown stronger and wiser. I’m no longer the naive 16 yr old who blindly trusted others, especially elders, to guide me along the path with their ” trust me I know better” attitude. I won’t let other people destroy my self esteem nor integrity. I’m my own women and am accountable to myself and GOD and not these people.
My most important asset is my time therefore I am not going to waste time on fake people who don’t need my attention. I’m no longer settling for mediocre or below standard and other time wasters. I trust actions more then words and when they do not match up I won’t be wasting my time and effort on these time wasters.
Time is extremely precious to me being a single mom with multiple portfolios to juggle. I cannot and do not want to spend it unproductively. I want to surround myself with people who will lift me up and spur me on to be the best version of myself.
Through all the trials and tribulations that I have faced especially during the past two years this can’t be even more true to me. I now surround myself with like minded individuals who are are non judgmental and supportive in my endeavors. I on my part try my best to support my friends and family to the best of my ability without compromising my values, integrity and goals.
I show by my own actions as an example to my kids what are healthy and unhealthy relationships and how to seek out and maintain healthy ones in their lives.
FamilyPreneur- The Six Key Steps to Raising Your Little Entreperneurs
Familypreneur- The Six Key Steps to Raising Your Little Entreperneurs by Jean Pierre Rukebesha is one of the books that I have been reading. Based on the current global economic conditions for our kids to be able to survive and do well in their adult life would require them to have some enterprising genes so they can create their own opportunity to earn a living. Corporate jobs are getting far and few and salary from these jobs are not rising fast enough to keep up with inflation. There are no iron rice bowl jobs anymore where one can stay on for their whole live till retirement.
If one can connect their business to the kids education it will help ease them into the Entrepreneurial mode. Many parents focus too much on the educational development of the child and neglect introducing them to their business from young. Jean gives many case studies in her book that explain how some entrepreneurial companies thrive while the others go belly up when passed down to the 2nd generation. This is because many of the children did not cultivate the love and passion for the business which their parents had. Not all kids are cut out to follow in their parents footsteps however as seen in the case study on Thomas Edison. Only 2 out of his 6 kids became inventors.
To be considered as a person who has entrepreneurial spirit he has to exhibit the following characteristics
Tolerance of Ambugity
It all starts from young. If the parent is able to role model the entrepreneurial behavior there is a higher chance that the child will follow after their foot steps and ensure the continuity of the family business. This is because the child is more aware of this option as a career. Parents have to actively introduce the ideal of business to the child and get them involved through identifying their passions and supporting them. Artistic talent that your child may have may be incorporated into your business through getting them to help design signs or even posters for your company.
Your child has to understand what you are doing, why you are doing it and how your business has impacted your life and his. This can be very beneficial to you in your business succession planning.
It is extremely cool for parents to include their kids in their business and give them the liberty to explore their talents and passions. I’ve seen many family businesses close down as the pioneers to the company force the leadership down to the parents and refuse to let go of the reins at the same time. The parent has to actively involve their child/children in their business so that they are able to discover the goals and values of hard work.
Understand the nature of the business that you are in why you are doing it while at the same time educating them on it will help in their overall holistic development. It also widens up their perspective about what having a job entails together while bonding with you at the same time.
I personally have considered starting up my own business in this current poor global economy and have read this book I have a clearer idea of how to get my kids involved fully in my passions and business en devours. Even though they may or may not take over what I am doing in time to come it still will help in their character development and make them better adults in the future.