Writer’s Workshop: The Vow
Eleven years ago on the 16th of June 2001 I made the greatest promise which I will honor throughout my life here on earth.
I still remember that I said this speech in a steady voice in front of the priest , family and friends during our church wedding at Sacred Heart Church.
I, Dominique , take you R, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.
These eleven years hasn’t been all smooth sailing for me as R and I have gone through our fair share of quarrels, misunderstandings and heartaches. Whenever I feel helpless or exhausted with trying to balance being a mom and a partner I reflect on the vow that I took back then and persevere on.
It is very easy for one to throw in the towel and announce the “D” word in a relationship. Most of the time it is due to mutual breakdown in communications and both parties not paying effort to keep up with the relationship. It takes two hands to clap and build a family. Neglect and having unrealistic expectation will only set both partners further apart from each other. Therefore it is important to constantly work at maintaining a marriage while growing as an individual.
Love and understanding, tolerance and respect are essentials building blocks which I emphasize on in our relationship. Forgive and forget are something which I practice as life is too short to keep on harping on each other and bearing grudges.
It would only make you a bitter person and turn the climate in the home from warm and comfy to icy cold and the love which was anchoring the family would slowly ebb away. Being a child of divorced parents I know all too well how traumatic it would be for the kids if the parents divorced and certainly am not going to let my marriage end up that way.
Even though the kids take up a majority of my time I do try to schedule time out each day and time to work on our marriage with date nights and planning special meals/items just for my soul mate.
Knowing that he does appreciate all my effort is gratitude enough. It was with GOD’s grace and family acceptance that we were able to be together. Our paths have intertwined and now we walk together as one with a shared vision for our kids and our future together.
April 19, 2012 @ 1:57 pm
Wishing you many, many, many happy returns.
If you have love as your vision, things find their way more easily. 🙂
April 19, 2012 @ 7:48 pm
Thanks Eleni
April 19, 2012 @ 2:36 pm
Well said. There is up and down in every marriage. Most important thing is perseverance.
You can remember the marriage vows. I can’t 😛
April 19, 2012 @ 3:40 pm
That picture is beautiful! Forgive and forget as well as learning to say SORRY out loud instead of letting the silence ride out are things I have learned. It is amazing what small things can become big and turn into divorce, you know? Just don’t want something silly to ever become the roots of a huge problem! Thanks for the post, it was encouraging!
Stopping by from Mama Kat’s
April 19, 2012 @ 5:35 pm
There is nothing that can’t be worked out through right and wise communication. I’m sure there will always be ups and downs between a married couple we just need to set some quality time and nurture the relationship and always have an open mind and honest heart. Hubby and I have been married for almost 6 years and by God’s grace we haven’t gone through any serious down point in our marriage.. he’s always been understanding… I am actually the one that needs to be more open and understanding 😀 Lately, I am always on his throat for every little thing… good thing I have a very patient husband.
Spanish Pinay
April 19, 2012 @ 6:57 pm
Wise words… and yes, tolerance is the key, plus a whole lot of effort!
Thank you for sharing this – it made me smile 🙂
April 19, 2012 @ 7:20 pm
looks like a good vow 🙂
April 19, 2012 @ 9:13 pm
Building a relationship is an on-going affair, if you want it to stay strong. The foundation of deep committment must be there first before the relationship can take shape. Those words, “till death doth us part” should be taken seriously. You guys are on the right track.
I am very happy in my marriage. We are both in a secure and stable relationship. This June, we’ll be honoring our 33rd wedding anniversary. Our relationship is not of husband & wife, but we are each others’ best friends. This has help to strengthen our marriage so much over the years.
Like I said growing a relationship is a continous project. The one thing I do is to keep indifference from settling in my heart and making me unwilling to see the big picture. Don’t hold back, but come together as one as you walk through each day through talking, planning, dreaming, praying, hugging, & loving.
Voice
April 19, 2012 @ 10:21 pm
Beautiful post! Dumb Dad still have a few years to go before we reach 11, hope we can appreciate each other as much as you two do then too!
April 19, 2012 @ 11:31 pm
I am working on it. There are times when I didn’t have to, and didn’t have time to, but it seemed that we all have to now and then. As we become busy in our lives, that part of the relationship suffers and it takes a faint turn. We are in agreement that we don’t spare each other enough time, so what next? We need plans.
Good to know that we are all the same in terms of ups and downs. Beautiful photo of the couple. Is that you and your hubby?
Thank you for linking up and your questions. They are great…If you have Wednesday Posts and interested in linking up – Blogger Broadcast: http://www.bloggerbroadcast.com/2012/04/friendly-deers-wordless-wednesday-linky.html offers a Linky every Tuesday night / Wednesday. YOU ALL ARE WELCOME to link-up, whether it’s Wordless or not.
April 19, 2012 @ 11:44 pm
Yes it’s a photo of hubby and me taken before our wedding. I’m linking up on Blogger Broadcast on Wednesdays when I remember to visit that site. Thanks for the reminder :_ Great to hear that you are working on your relationship too.
April 20, 2012 @ 12:25 am
Commitment and communication are so important. If you have those two, and both partners are willing to hang in and struggle through the tough spots, you end up with a marriage that only becomes more valuable through the years.
Shared history is a wonderful gift to each other.
=)
April 20, 2012 @ 1:30 am
You look so young in that picture! I was young when I got married (19). I miss my sweetie every day even though he’s been gone over 15 years…
April 20, 2012 @ 2:41 am
You are so right about paths that have intertwined. My husband and I are working on forever too.
April 20, 2012 @ 4:52 am
Good question, Dominique! ~~ Mrs. Jim and I have been married now for 39 years and I am not looking towards a split up.
Of course I wasn’t for my first marriage either. But pretty much out of the blue the first Mrs. Jim made the big announcement, “I’m d*ne {D word??} and out of here.” That has made me leary and I realize that nothing is for sure in theis world.
I love my Mrs. Jim very, very, much and do hope that we will be together forever till death. But like I said, it can happen and i realize that. I won’t be the one to make the announcement I am sure.
One things, a lot of people tell us that they wish they could have a marriage like ours. That says we look good?? 🙂
..
April 20, 2012 @ 6:16 am
I could say so much, but I will just say, that we are on the edge of either life.
I love your article. Very wise.
Wishing you many more wonderful years.
April 20, 2012 @ 6:55 am
Amazingly inspirational. It IS hard to keep a marriage working, but that’s just it, it CONSTANTLY takes work. Congrats on so many happy years under your belt. 🙂
April 20, 2012 @ 9:41 am
After 23 years it’s still up and down but still worth it, every single day. Visiting from Alphabe-Thursday.
April 20, 2012 @ 10:24 am
Wishing you continued happiness. Where do I see myself in my marriage. I am loved unconditionally, I love unconditionally. I am blessed and I am grateful every day. Thank you for linking up to the Thursday Favorite Things blog hop. xo
April 20, 2012 @ 12:07 pm
great post You guys look so young in that picture Every couple headed for divorce should take your advice. It is very well written and thought out
April 20, 2012 @ 9:47 pm
What a lovely picture. Good advice too. Marriage is hard work. I put so many hours into my job because I want to be good at it, I need to put time into my husband too.
April 20, 2012 @ 10:41 pm
It took me a while to find what blog you’re at! But to answer your questions: I have no relationship/partner to work on a goal at the moment. After 22 years of marriage, it failed, and I’m now single for the last 12 years…Happy and contented though!
April 20, 2012 @ 11:07 pm
Thanks for popping by. I’m glad that you are happy and contented where you are now even as a single.
April 21, 2012 @ 8:40 am
I hope that R is working on the marriage as hard as you are. Frequently, fixing things is left up to the wife.
April 21, 2012 @ 2:06 pm
Congrats on your marriage!
April 27, 2012 @ 11:55 pm
I truly Value Mr. Jenny and eVerything he is to me…
Thanks for linking.
A+