August 21, 2011

The Importance of Family Bonding

Dominique Thoughts family bonding, postive parenting

* This post was originally posted back in 2009. I’m revisiting it and adding on my thoughts about Family Bonding in 2011.

A tightly knit family is like a solid rock which can survive

the toughest storm- Dominique

Family Bonding is the process that members of a family go through to build up emotional ties which would last them a lifetime. Is the first and most important relationship that we are exposed to since birth.

As one grows older and the kids get bigger sometimes we can get so caught up with work and providing the basic needs that we neglect the need for family bonding. It is very important to constantly work at maintaining the dynamics within a family in order for every member to function at their optimal level.

In times of crisis family is the one who is always there to

support and help us.

I’m sure this statement resonates well with some of you based on your own personal experiences in life.

In 2004 I felt that we were finally a family when Monkey Boy was born. Fast forward to 2009 as a mother of two boys I feel even more strongly about the need for family bonding.

Now in 2011 I’m a mother of three with a two boys and a little girl the dynamics of the family has drastically changed since then but it’s still work in progress to get the family to bond.

Our family of Five

The best present we can give our children is the sense of being love and treasured as a member of the family. It beats all the fancy toys or holidays that we can bring them on.

5 Ways to build up your family bond

6 Ways to strengthen your family bond

There are many different activities which you can do as a family to build up a close relationship with all the family members.

Have your meals together regularly.For us we make it a point to have dinner with the kids at least 5 days a week during the weekdays. We also get the kids to participate in setting and clearing the table.I also ensure that the television is off and all electronic devices be set aside during dinner so that everyone at the table is able to fully interact with one another and find out about each others day.
Do not be quick to judge the other person.Nobody is perfect. When a mistake is made do be supportive of the other person so that he will be able to learn from his mistakes.It’s really hard to think rationally and not to react based on impulse. It takes a lot of discipline to learn to be slow to anger and to think rationally when you really feel like you are going to blow your top.
Kids learn quickly and best from example. If they see you as a calm and level headed parent they will also learn to be level headed too.
Do plan family activities.We used to go rollerblading together as a family before Tiger girl was born. However now with the kids being older and having their swimming lessons on the weekend we schedule visits to the park instead where everyone can have a fun time.During the weekdays after dinner and all the chores have been done, we spend time reading books or playing games with the kids.
Give each member their own space and freedom to self develop(within boundaries for kids).No one likes to be restrained and dictated upon. We are not animals who have to be put on leash. However, young kids do need boundaries and directions to help them grow.I allow my kids to explore with minimal guidance depending on the circumstances and environment.By allowing the kids to try out and solve problems on their own I’m building up their independence. The boundaries are given to them to keep them safe and to let them know what is appropriate for their age.
Respect individual difference and opinions.
My boys have very different temperaments and can be constantly at each other throats. Doggie Boy has a mind of his own. It will be extremely exhausting and frustrating if I try to force him to comply with what I want him to do if he is unwilling. Now as a four year old he would yell and be bawling away in defiance.Instead of dictating my will on him I try to reason with him and normally we are able to come to a compromise which leaves both parties happy.

For the elder boy I would give him a choice of what to do and he would have to bear the consequences if he made a bad decision.
Set a family goal
A family who works towards a common goal stays together. It is always easier to feel connected when everyone is working in the same direction. The kids are still young to know about family goal setting but we do intend to revise our family goals and add in their contribution when they come of age.