November 26, 2009

Parenting without the Guilt

Dominique Parenting Views Parents, Thought

Many a time one may question yourself if you are doing the right thing for your child. There are many experts out there every ready to dish out their “best” advices to you on how to solve your problems. Is it really possible to eradicate the problem by using Expert A’s techniques? Should I go with Expert B’s recommendation instead?  Will the fix be temporary or permanent?  How long will it take to solve the problem?

101 questions flood through your head as ponder over the “best solution” to your current problem. The more advices you seek the more confuse you get. You may even be frustrated and filled with regret if your desired results are not met and you are left with thinking “What if??”

I personally have been in that situation before and it isn’t a good feeling to have. Regret doesn’t do anyone any good. No point mopping over what has or hasn’t been done. It is time to move on and continuing doing what you know is best for your child.

Here are some tips on how to be at peace with yourself and your parenting style.

1. Take head of what you are taking in

   Ask yourself what you believe in. Who is influencing your train of thought? Are you focused more on the positive or negative comments? Are you proud to be yourself or easily swayed by flashy media images and fads?  It may not be easy to self reflect but once you manage to get it done you will have a better understanding of your needs.

2. Listen to your inner self/voice

   Meditation will help to muffle the voices you hear in your head. It would help you connect with your inner voice/self.  Let’s take a simple task of choosing what to wear to work in the morning. Should I wear a dress? Pants or skirt? Do you really want to wear that fancy looking dress or comfortable pants with a blouse? Think back to when you’ve listened to your inner self before making a decision. What did it feel like? Was it stressful? Did it feel good?

3. Build on your Victories

   Note when you are listening to your inner self. Like the time you were extremely tired and rejected an offer for a night out with your friends. Ask yourself, “What is important to/for me?” Even if it is just taking some time out for ME TIME is that something that you want to do?

4. Communicate your desires

   Upon noticing what you want, it is important to have your desires communicated. Say it out and say it clearly. Even though your friends may or may not ask you it is important for them to know how you feel and what you want.  You may not get your way or desires each time and that’s how life is. However, if you haven’t said out your piece you will NEVER get what you desire.

5. Balancing what you learn or hear

   It is tough to judge whether the advice you have got is good or bad. Sometimes advices from our parents and friends help us while at other times their good intentions may turn out to give us more problems and stresses. Worst to say, some individuals may deliberately mislead you with bogus information to give you a false sense of assurance.

It is important for you to sieve the advices given and use your intuition on what is the most appropriate line of action to be taken. This way you will be able to live without regrets.