About Dominique

http://dominiquegoh.com

Singaporean Educator, Coach and Hands on Mom of Three. Connect with me on Google+

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Year End Reflections 2017

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2017 moving on to 2018

2017 moving on to 2018

We are now in the tail end of 2018. In exactly 27 more days we will be ringing in the new year. It’s time to welcome the new year again. It is the time for year end reflections and to look back to see how the year has been while at the same time planning and re- setting the goals for the next year.

2017 has been moving at breathtaking speed with non stop roller coaster action for me and the kids. This year my focus was slightly different from before. In January I listed out 20 Ideas to Make this the Best Year Ever. If you are lazy to click over to look at the post I’m posting it here again in this post to let you know my progress down that list.

  1. Make a conscious effort to de-clutter your surroundings.  ( I have been doing this on  quarterly basis)
  2. Visit new places  (I’ve been to a few new cafes/shops in Singapore that only opened this year)
  3. Make new friends ( I’m averaging about a totally new friend every month or so)
  4. Re-connect with old friends/ acquaintances  ( I’ve met up with friends I made 14yrs ago from the baby forum which I joined when Monkey boy was born. It had been nearly 10+ years since I met up with some of them and was really good to catch up with the gals)
  5. Take up a course ( I’ve taken up AED + CPR and now a certified First Aider)
  6. Learn a new language ( I’m started learning Korean online and am still going through the modules)
  7. Re-commit to a exercise regime ( This year I had my virgin appearance at a gym and have restarted my home gym exercises)
  8. Sleep better ( Still work in progress on this)
  9. Eat clean / healthy ( I’m eating salads on a daily basis and have upped my intake of vegetables and fruits)
  10. Focus on yourself before others ( My health and sanity is of the utmost importance  and I now say NO more often then before to things that will not be beneficial towards me)
  11. Learn from the past and DON’T repeat it.  ( I’m extremely clear what I want and don’t want now )
  12. Remove the bad apples and keep the good apples in your life (I’m now more careful and more stringent about the people that I want in the kids and my life. I do not want any toxic people to traumatize or spoil their childhood. )
  13. Stay away from unnecessary drama (from other people)  ( I refuse to get suck into useless feuds nor indulge in idle gossip. If they aren’t able to deal with their own issues it is their problem don’t throw it onto me as I won’t be picking up any of your trash on your behalf)
  14. Revamp your wardrobe  ( I’ve changed many pieces of clothing in my wardrobe this year as they have gotten too loose to wear. I’ve also updated it with more trendy pieces)
  15. Streamline your operations and optimize  (The household has been running more smoothly since I’ve done some amendments to everyone’s schedule. Now that the kids are bigger they are able to help out more therefore working as a team lesser time is needed to get the daily chores done)
  16. Spend more time  with family and love ones. ( I’m spending max time with the kids after school, bringing them out to have more varied and new experience and also doing more activities 1 on 1)
  17. Hug and Kiss more  ( The guys are getting more hugs from me now as they are not really into kisses since they are older)
  18. Create a Vision board ( I have been having one up in my room since last year and slowly everything is falling in place)
  19. Plan regular date nights  ( I do both afternoon dates and night date with the kids depending on their schedule) 
  20. Read more ( I’m exploring reading more varied genres that I have been previously reading to widen my knowledge)

Score: 19/20

Me in my CNY Outfit

Me in my CNY Outfit

In Feb I  finished my final post in the education series which I started off in 2015 entitled – Bridging the GAP  I initially aimed to do a series a year however family commitments grew heavier as the kids grew up therefore the series got sideline till I finally had the chance to pen the last post.

Having read and studied up about health I was more focus on working on achieving fat loss besides weight loss. This year I’ve tried two different programs and got to know more about how my body functions and what is the best way for me to keep up my energy levels and staying healthy. Even though I am still far from my personal weight goal I’m better equipped in my knowledge on health and nutrition . The main reason why it has been an extremely difficult journey to optimal weight/ fitness has to deal with the intense STRESS levels that I have been having this year.

I’ve yet to learn how to reduce my stress level when I get triggered by external circumstances or environment.  I guess when the main issue which I am facing this year gets resolved next year it will be a great load off my back.

You can say that I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting this year and getting to know myself better. I now am more certain of what I want and set my boundaries even more clearly then before. My level of tolerance for certain people and situations have greatly plummeted as I no longer put up with Toxic individuals who are only doing things on their own agenda for their own benefit.  I have redefined who constitutes as family members to me and you can be certain that blood relations that are tainted are not even considered within the definition.

Me in a floral dress

Me in a floral dress

I’m more determined then ever to achieve my goals and get to where I project myself to be come 2018.

How has 2017 been for you?

 

Finding a New Me- Social Wellness

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Surround Yourself with people who will take you higher

Social wellness refers to the relationships we have and how we interact with others. Our relationships can offer support during difficult times. It is important to build healthy, nurturing and supportive relationships as well as fostering a genuine connection with those around you. 
As they say the circle of friends you hang around with defines you.  They help to shape your thoughts and perception on how you want to lead your life. Therefore it is extremely important to be careful about who you let into your inner circle.

Quality vs Quantity

As I grow older I get more selective about who I want around me. Not everyone may be who they seem on first experience. Sometimes something that seems too good to be true may turn out to be a rotten apple disguised as a golden one. Relationships have to be two ways be it with benefits, communication and understanding for it to be long lasting.  It cannot be something one sided where one party continually takes what the other offers and suck him dry over time.
A Mantra I follow

A Mantra I follow

 I’ve met many people who are FAKE . They pretend to be nice and concern about you but in actuality they are just sizing you up so that they can exploit your trust, abilities and achievement for their own personal benefits. When they are being called out for their inconsistencies / lies or exaggerations they become defensive and even abusive attacking your character and values. The mask that they have been parading around drops and their true behavior and intentions can be seen. They refuse to take responsibility for their own action and blame everyone else except themselves. These individuals are  Highly delusional  and I refuse to have them around me and the kids. Period. 
Blood relationships  are not as important to me as before. I’ve learnt that not all are your family.  Some of my previous relationships are now of no significance to me especially when they are from highly toxic individuals with tainted blood. It was a  pity that I was born into a toxic extended family. Their constant bickering and comparison had affected me and my perception of what a relationship should be.
It had taken me quite awhile to eliminate all the toxic ones who were outwardly and/or passively aggressive to me and the kids.  We deserve a normal life and one which is free from others who were constantly undermining or demeaning us for their own selfish agenda.
Life is difficult enough as a single mom of three  and there is no need to add on unwanted and nonsensical drama by these delusional individuals to our lives to make it harder.
Another mantra

Another mantra which I subscribe to.

I frown upon people who easily pass judgment on others so they “appear” to be superior to others. Who are they to judge when GOD doesn’t judge? No doubt you and I have flaws but it is not something to be constantly targeted by others in attempt to bring down your level of self confidence or bully you into submission with their constant criticism .

Emerging from a 20 yr long abusive relationship I’ve grown stronger and wiser. I’m no longer the naive 16 yr old who blindly trusted others, especially elders, to guide me along the path with their ” trust me I know better” attitude. I won’t let other people destroy my self esteem nor integrity. I’m my own women and am accountable to myself and GOD  and not these people.

My most important asset is my time therefore I am not going to waste time on  fake people who don’t need my attention. I’m no longer settling for mediocre or below standard and other time wasters. I trust actions more then words and when they do not match up I won’t be wasting my time and effort on these time wasters.

Time is extremely precious to me being a single mom with multiple portfolios to juggle. I cannot and do not want to spend it unproductively. I want to surround myself with people who will lift me up and spur me on to be the best version of myself.

Through all the trials and tribulations that I have faced especially during the past two years this can’t be even more true to me. I now surround myself with like minded individuals who are are non judgmental and supportive in my endeavors.  I on my part try my best to support my friends and family to the best of my ability without compromising  my values, integrity and goals.

I show by my own actions as an example to my kids what are healthy and unhealthy relationships and how to seek out  and maintain healthy ones in their lives.

What do you do to maintain your social wellness?

 

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