As we celebrate International Women’s Day today I have been reflecting on what it means to be ME.
It hasn’t been easy been ME. Having been on this planet for 39 yrs and counting I have been through a whole array of different experiences which have shaped me into the way I am today. The decisions that I have made through the years have made me into a stronger and better person.
I know that I am powerful and have learnt not to give away my power to others. Never again. I will let others dictate the way I should live. I am me and I’m not going to change just to suit others whims and fancies. The most important decision maker about things relating to me is ME. Only Me.
I’m no longer a newly minted mom like I was when Monkey Boy was born 14 yrs ago. We just celebrated his birthday over pizza on the weekend and it has certainly been an achievement solo parenting him all these years. I never regretted my decision to put my career on the back burner when he was born. I have always wanted to be a hands on mother and witness every single milestone that my kids go through. I’m glad that I’ve stuck to that made years back as it has given me tremendous satisfaction seeing them grow from helpless infants to the independent little adults that they are today. It hasn’t been easy as all three of them have different characters and quirks. There is no way that I can use the same methods across the board with all and a lot of adaptions have to be done even though I have to go through each stage thrice!!
Monkey boy has been one of my biggest challenge so far. It had been an extremely steep learning curve with him learning how to be a mother. There has been many unexpected and extremely intense moments navigating the deep water of motherhood that forced me out of my comfort zone. With him you can expect to constantly think out of the box and come up with various ingenious methods and techniques to deal with him. He frequently challenges authority and can really be a handful to manage. However having gone through the tough experiences with him give me more experience on how to handle the other younger two when they come to their teenage years.
It would have been easier for me handling the kids if I had a supportive and hands on father to the kids. Alas it was not to be as I was unfortunate to have an Ex who was totally hands off . He wouldn’t even attempt to spend time celebrating the kids birthday with them prioritizing his own interests above the kids. To date he has never celebrate Doggie Boy’s birthday together with him even though the boy has requested this from him on countless occasions. I used to feel mad about this and resented the Ex for his abusive behavior towards me and the kids. These negative feelings got me feeling very bitter at ends and it was in 2016 when I decided to put a stop to this toxic person’s foothold over me and the kids.
I know that we DESERVE the best and if one party constantly refuses to put in the needed effort it is best that he leaves the family least he constantly causes further anguish and frustration to other family members.
Now two years on in 2018 I am proud to announce that I’ve come a long way from being that unsure and frighten girl who was conned into believing the words and threats of a demon who tried to enslave me through his abusive ways. I was one who had anxiety attacks and countless sleepless nights resulting in chronic insomnia due to the extreme levels of stress brought about by the Devils who were in our lives.
Since then I have grown in confidence and phased out the Devils in our life it has been much more peaceful. I’m now an assertive lady who knows what she wants and will go all out for it. I no longer get fazed by evil and stare back at it straight in the eye. With GOD as my guide and protector there is nothing too difficult which cannot be handled.
I know what I want to do and have been taking action to get to my desired goals. I am even more focus now as a single parent playing both the role of father and mother to my kids. I know that I am not perfect however this doesn’t hamper me from giving my best to the kids.
I’m glad that I have overcome the trials and turbulence that had been thrown into my life and emerged victorious. I do know it is a long journey for me and I will constantly face challenges and obstacles however with an open mindset and focusing on GOD I’m equipped to handle everything.
How do you celebrate Me?