March 22, 2010

Talking about Feelings

Dominique Thoughts

Many a time we are simply too busy or do not put in effort to understand the feelings of the people around us.  We assume that we understand our family and friend when we hardly know how they actually feel.

This term we are teaching the topic on Feelings for English and it made me think how important it is to be in sync with our own feelings and the feelings of people around us.

Why it is important to understand our own feelings.

In order to be able to understand our kids better it is important to firstly understand why you have certain reactions towards certain behaviour and situations.

Sometimes a slight movement or feeling out of control of the situation can make one go from happy mode to despair and even depression.

Many a times your childhood experiences and life experiences shape the way you feel or react in certain situations.

If you had a very negative experience when you are young the feelings of hopelessness and despair may come back to haunt you when you are facing a similar situation.

It doesn’t mean that you are more prepared now to face the same situation and emotions which you thought that you have buried deep inside you suddenly resurface.

Nevertheless because of our experiences we are more able to keep our feelings in check and become a better person.

How can we talk about feelings with our children?

I personally feel that we should start from when our child is a toddler. The younger the child is the less inhibited he is to express his feelings.

For younger kids

You can have simple faces pasted on flashcards showing – Happy, Sad , Amused, Curious and let your child point to the face which they think represents them the best at the current moment.

You would have to model how you feel to your child first so that he can learn how to express himself.

This activity could be further expanded by teaching them similes and other expressions when they are older.

Eg: ” I am as cross as a hot cross bun” , ” As happy as a bird chirping in the tree” .

This could help them expand their vocabulary and make it more colourful.  It also makes your child more sensitive to their own feelings and understand how they feel.

For older kids

In our class last week we did a short pair work activity.

Partner A had to list down how she was feeling today on half a piece of paper. On the other half of the paper she/he had to write down how she though her partner was feeling. After she had finished the writing exercise she had to check in with Partner B to check if what she thought was correct.

It was interesting to know that only half the kids really understood what their partner was feeling for the day. It only show that they shouldn’t assume but actually ask to find out how a person is actually feeling if they are unable to read the visual cues.

After the activity the students reflected that they learned more about their partner through the activity and had a better understanding of the other person.

This makes a good bonding time activity in class and helps to build up class unity.

How do you talk about feelings?