While Being a Parent by Eddie Marie Durham is based on her personal experience as a mum.
Being a mom is not easy. You learn on the job. Each Child is different and what works with one may not work with the other. What you experience with your 1st child can be totally different from what you experience with subsequent children.
In her book Eddie shared her parenting experience with her 2 sons and step son. From each son she learned how important it is to be adaptable to changes and lead through examples.
It is mentioned in her book for the kids to be able to understand you. The following should be done.
(1) Explain the rules clearly
Punishing a child over rules they don’t understand just makes them
resentful. The fewer rules the better- Just make them understandable, doable, and observable. “Preaching” and moralizing only creates resistance
(2) Enforce the rules consistently
What brings a smile today shouldn’t bring a slap tomorrow. Inconsistency weakens your authority and breeds disobedience in them.
Here are some things to shun:
(1) Avoid comparing. No child should be expected to be just like another
(2) Avoid hurtful labels like “you’re stupid, lazy, bad, a waste of time,”
etc. Describe their actions; don’t demolish their self- worth
(3) Avoid bribes; they breed manipulation and diminish the importance of rules
(4) Avoid idle threat. Enforce the rule, or drop it.
(5) Avoid making fun of their weaknesses
(6) Don’t fear saying “No!” Their future success and happiness depend on learning to deal with it.
(7) Admit your failures. However though you “blow it” occasionally, you are still responsible to require they follow your laws, not your lapses!
(8) In the society we have today children need stability. Love and
discipline can help them reach that goal. Otherwise they could
end up in so many wrong situations.
I find a lot of similarity between certain experiences that Eddie had with my 3 kids. All of them have their own character and the way to communicate with each one differs.
It is not easy to bring up a child. Everyday is a different learning experience for me too.
To be good parents there are lots of things a mother and father are expected to do To give love and support to their children, and many of their troubles help see them through Parents are to help a child reach their first pinnacle of success But, if the parents don’t step-up to the plate, the child’s life could turn out to be a real mess.- Eddie Marie Durham
However as mentioned by a friend of mine, which I agree with, the effectiveness of what a parent does for the child is limited especially if the child is not receptive to their efforts. It is a joint effort by both the parent and the child to help the child grow up right.
Do pick up a copy of the book. You will find that it is certainly a refreshing read.
Disclaimer: I received copy of this book for review purposes. All opinions are 100% mine.