Writer’s Workshop: Just Do It

It’s always a tough decision to choose between returning to work after the birth of your child or to stay home. In today’s world it is really risky to rely on just one person’s salary.  There isn’t any iron rice bowl job like in the day of our parents or grandparents.  Inflation is rising faster then salaries and it’s  certainly more stable to be a dual income family then a single income family.

Having a comfortable amount of cash and savings, being financial independent and being “in demand” are really attractive. However it is certainly not enticing enough for me to return to work after baby  gal was born. I did return to work, twice ,  after the birth of  Monkey Boy and Doggie Boy  when they were old enough to enter childcare. However since Tiger girl was born, I’m seriously considering converting to a WAHM once my NPL is up.

It was really  stressful being a FTWM having to juggle both the job, kids and housework. Everyday I had to rush from work to the childcare and make sure that the kids were picked up on time.  It’s even worst when hubby is out of town or the kids fall sick and I need to take time off work to attend to my kids. Even though my workplace is supposedly family oriented there is still discrimination against mothers who put their family and their needs above their job.  Workload increases yearly and we are faulted for trying to give our attention to our growing children.

I’ve seen and experienced how “broken” a family gets when both parents are unable to spend time with their kids. The kids get shuttled from one activity to another after school as parents are afraid that they are not being properly supervised at home with the maid or grandparents. There is no real interaction between parent and child and it has let to lots of parent/child conflicts as the parent is not around from young to give the care and guidance that is needed. In the worst case the kids become delinquents and a bane to society. That is something which  seriously hope my kids will not grow up to be.

Even though I’m able to stay home for the first two years of each child’s life but it is certainly not enough if I want to maintain my relationship with each of my 3 kids and guide them through each stage of their lives.

I believe that childhood is the best/only time when one can leave footprints which will shape the rest of their lives. To be absent during your child’s growing years because of work commitments is something which I won’t compromise on.  I want my kids to have a head start in life and properly equipped to handle all the challenges and obstacles that they may face later on in life. The only way they would be able to do so would be if they were given the opportunity to pick up the necessary skills and learn how to use the relevant equipments.

Other caregivers like nannies, maids or grandparents may not be able to cater fully  to my child’s needs. There is also  safety and other underlying worries that  I would have. I know that my child’s learning ability will not be optimized and he/she will not be able reach his maximum potential if I leave the grooming in the hands of others instead of taking action myself.  I want to be fully present in my kids life and that’s why the decision has been made. I’m staying home till they are old enough to go off to high school.

What are your feelings as a parent about going to work/staying home?

How did you make your decision?

Jenny MatlockMama’s Losin’ It