March 26, 2009

Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads: Dealing with the Difficult Parents in Your Child’s Life

Dominique Thoughts Clique, Pecking order, Queen Bee

Ever since returning to teaching in February I have been reading up on books on how to deal with kids and their parents. Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads by Rosalind  Wisemen is one of my latest read.

Reading this book was an eye opener to me. It helped me understand more about

• The toxicity of cliques
• What people actually mean when they are talking to you. ( Cracking the hidden parents speak code)
• How to be a better person and deal with people of different personalities
  1. Queen Bee -Seems to have the perfect life, very charming and loves to be in charge.

  2. The Sidekick – Second in command under Queen Bee.

  3. Starbucks and Sympathy – The silent powerhouse. May comfort you but then turn on you when convenient for her.

  4. Torn wannabes and desperate wannabes – May privately support you but abandon you when a confrontation erupts. Torn wannabes know better, desperate ones are just desperate.

  5. Steamrolled moms – Sacrifices her needs to avoid conflicts. She often sits on the fence.

  6. Floater moms – Genuinely liked for who they are, they embody nice popularity.

  7. Reformed moms -Used to be involved in the cliques but has analyzed her behavior and changed her ways.

  8. Invisible moms– Well-meaning moms who attend school functions but never speak up!

  9. Outcast moms- Are considered misfits. She is vulnerable to dismissal or attack, but also has the freedom to not worry about her social pecking order.

There are many real life scenarios being quoted in Rosalind’s book which are all too true. There are  many people  who  aim to live in the “Perfect Parent” world and how by  trying to make themselves seems “superior” they ostracize or harm other parents and their kids.

The book gives practical advice on how to deal with the other  adults in their childrens lives with skill and compassion, rather than wrath and confusion. I find this extremely helpful in my profession as will have to deal with “difficult” parents or colleagues in the line of work.

By understanding their mindset and their probable upbringing it gives me an edge in choosing the most suitable mindset to address the challenges that they throw my way.

I didn’t really get around to reading the whole book as I found it extremely dense and it wasn’t an easy reading book for me.  Based on the chapters that I manage to get through I gather that stereotyping and cliques can be extremely intoxicating with the presence of back biting and bitching that goes around irregardless of gender.

Have you read this book lately?