Parenting with Presence

Parenting with Presence Book Cover
Parenting with Presence Book Cover

Parenting with Presence: Practices for Raising Conscious, Confident, Caring Kids (An Eckhart Tolle Edition) by Susan Stiffelman is one book which I recommend parents to read.

It isn’t easy being a parent however with these tips from Susan it will make your journey as a parent much smoother.

In the 11 chapters of the book Susan brings the readers through how it is growing up while raising kids, communicating with them, cultivating them and helping them coping with stress.

She shows how Happiness is an Inside Job and shares with the readers Tools, Tips and Strategies on coping.

The way that we interact with our kids maybe a reflection of suppressed emotions that we have due to our own childhood experiences. Sometimes these get manifested when our kids unknowingly hit our trigger buttons.

If one able to identify why certain behaviors emerge in you as a child you would be able to address that first before tackling and correcting your child’s behavior.

Through listening and being fully present in the presence of your child you will be able to gain his cooperation. Accepting him as he is will prove that you genuinely care about him and  gain his alliance.

This will prevent the relationship that you have with your child from disintegrating and help build on the existing bond that you have.

“When we cannot shield our children from painful
experiences, the next best thing is to be fully present to them,
helping them through the process by letting them feel their
sadness and disappointment.”

I find this paragraph very insightful. As a parent we wish to shelter our children from unpleasant experiences. However if we do this all the time they will not be given the opportunity to grow and learn to cope with these not so nice situations on their own.

There are questions  at the end of each chapter which the reader can go through and do some self reflection  on how he/she has been doing as a parent in that particular area of focus.

With the question and answer section one gets an insight and suggestions on how to deal with problems in given scenarios.

Susan believes that through our engagement with the kids they get to learn and pick up the values which we wish to instill in them.  By giving them an idea on how they can and should behave  they will grow up to be better people.

My thoughts 

I found this book to be a very insightful read. I especially love the paragraph below.

 Our kids deserve to know that even if we can’t always meet their needs or offer them the validation they long for, they are still wholly lovable and uniquely brilliant just as they are.

What we do as a parent directly affects their ability to grow into adults themselves.  There are many things that we as parents are able to do to guide our children through their childhood.

I agree with a lot that Susan had shared in her book. Being a parent we have to be vigilant at all times about our  demeanor.  Our kids emulate how we behave and are always watching us to see how we perform in different situations.

We need to demonstrate to them what are good manners through our daily living and also be good models for them.   Through our own behaviour they learn how to cope with the stressors of life and deal with the different obstacles which they may face as they are growing up.

Do grab a copy of the book Parenting with Presence: Practices for Raising Conscious, Confident, Caring Kids (An Eckhart Tolle Edition) by Susan Stiffelman if you are interested to know more tips from her.

Disclaimer: I received a copy of this book for review purposes. All opinions are 100% mine.  This post has affiliate links.

13 thoughts on “Parenting with Presence”

  1. The points raised in this book are good reminders for us parents. That we cannot always protect them from disappointments and difficulties of life, but it would be very helpful for them if we are present to hold their hand through these ordeals.

  2. As my son is growing, he is more exposed to pain, disappointment that I wished he would never experience. But then, I knew this is some part of his character building. And yes, thank you for the reminder that we can be just present with them despite all these experiences.

  3. As parents, we always wish that we will be the ones to experience pain for them because we don’t want them to get hurt, both physically and emotionally. That’s not the reality, though. Being with them and letting them know that we are there for them may not take away the pain, but it will definitely help ease the pain. Our presence will also give them strength and courage. The book sounds interesting and insightful; I’m sure this will be very helpful to us, parents.

  4. One of my fears after my wedding is having a child. Honestly, I’m very vocal with my partner regarding not having a child on our first year together as much as possible. I want to spend the first year with him and just enjoy each other’s company before having a baby. But it’s not solely the reason. i also want to have time on adjusting and evaluating on how can I become a good mom. I have so many questions in mind regarding parenting. I hope when my time comes, I’ll have a mom’s group whom I can talk to. It’s actually great to be expose to other bloggers like you sis. I’m happy.

  5. Aw! Just last night, we had an argument with our son. He refused to listen after being told not to go down stairs. To my dismay, I told him we will not finish what we are reading. He cried on top his lungs. His Dad got angry and got what we were reading. He then told him to go to his bed and sleep but our little boy was really upset. That’s because he loves to read and he told me we will not finish what we’re reading. I told him that’s because you refused to listen to us and that’s wrong. He innocently said, “sorry mommy, I will not do mistakes again.” That made me realized that maybe his not getting what I want him to understand. Being a parent is really a tough job.

  6. Sounds like a great book. I’ll have to add this on the list of books-to-read because we are planning to get pregnant this year. 🙂

  7. I agree that we must be a good model to our kids, what they see is what they inherit. So we need to be careful in all our actions. And as a parent we are always here to protect them no matter what

  8. Nice book. As a mom, as much as possible I always want to protect my son from pain but this is so true “When we cannot shield our children from painful experiences, the next best thing is to be fully present to them,
    helping them through the process by letting them feel their sadness and disappointment.” I realized that I also need to let him feel the pain in order to be strong.

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