Weekend Reflections- Almost a year in retrospect

Welcome to Weekend Reflections a regular feature here on Dominique’s Desk. Join us this week for Weekend Reflections. I would really like to hear your view on this weekend’s topic. Do add your link to our Linky and leave me a comment for extra linky love. You can grab out button from the sidebar.

The year 2009 is drawing to a close and I’m starting to get lyrical as I reflect back on all the ups and down of the year.
There has been quite a lot of changes in the home front. Some for the better while others still need quite a bit of improvement on. I have embarked on many new projects and do have projects on the to-do-list for 2010.

I started out the year focusing on my online ventures. They took a backseat when I returned to work full time. With the current bad economy it has been quite difficult for start up ventures to really kick-off.

As the year progressed I had my goals re-aligned as I realised that it is really not worth it to invest so much time on my online business. Even though a lot of time and effort is needed for a start up but more time is needed to properly groom a child and building up a family.

Having personally seen and experience disfunctional families and the lifelong effects it has on the children, I seriously didn’t want that to happen to my own family.

You only have so many hours a day that you can spend with the family and it would be selfish of me to spend so many hours on personal interests at the expense of the family and kids.

Even though earning money is important to sustain a family it shouldn’t be the main focus. Many parents are often too occupied in chasing the ever exclusive $$ that they neglect the fact that it is essential to spend quality and quantity time to nuture a child.

If you are blessed , your child would turn out “right” with the minimal intervention. However, if your child ends up being on the extreme end of the scale and gets into trouble with the law it would be too late to regret not taking an active part in his life.

Like a long-term financial investment , one does not know if the effort that you are currently putting in now will reap any fruit. However if you DO NOT put in your investment now you will forever have the window of opportunity to nuture your child into a well mannered and functional adult.

November 26, 2009

Parenting without the Guilt

Dominique Parenting Views Parents, Thought

Many a time one may question yourself if you are doing the right thing for your child. There are many experts out there every ready to dish out their “best” advices to you on how to solve your problems. Is it really possible to eradicate the problem by using Expert A’s techniques? Should I go with Expert B’s recommendation instead? Will the fix be temporary or permanent? How long will it take to solve the problem?

101 questions flood through your head as ponder over the “best solution” to your current problem. The more advices you seek the more confuse you get. You may even be frustrated and filled with regret if your desired results are not met and you are left with thinking “What if??”

I personally have been in that situation before and it isn’t a good feeling to have. Regret doesn’t do anyone any good. No point mopping over what has or hasn’t been done. It is time to move on and continuing doing what you know is best for your child.

Here are some tips on how to be at peace with yourself and your parenting style.

Take head of what you are taking in
Ask yourself what you believe in. Who is influencing your train of thought? Are you focused more on the positive or negative comments? Are you proud to be yourself or easily swayed by flashy media images and fads? It may not be easy to self reflect but once you manage to get it done you will have a better understanding of your needs.
Listen to your inner self/voice
Meditation will help to muffle the voices you hear in your head. It would help you connect with your inner voice/self. Let’s take a simple task of choosing what to wear to work in the morning. Should I wear a dress? Pants or skirt? Do you really want to wear that fancy looking dress or comfortable pants with a blouse? Think back to when you’ve listened to your inner self before making a decision. What did it feel like? Was it stressful? Did it feel good?
Build on your Victories
Note when you are listening to your inner self. Like the time you were extremely tired and rejected an offer for a night out with your friends. Ask yourself, “What is important to/for me?” Even if it is just taking some time out for ME TIME is that something that you want to do?
Communicate your desires
Upon noticing what you want, it is important to have your desires communicated. Say it out and say it clearly. Even though your friends may or may not ask you it is important for them to know how you feel and what you want. You may not get your way or desires each time and that’s how life is. However, if you haven’t said out your piece you will NEVER get what you desire.
Balancing what you learn or hear
It is tough to judge whether the advice you have got is good or bad. Sometimes advices from our parents and friends help us while at other times their good intentions may turn out to give us more problems and stresses. Worst to say, some individuals may deliberately mislead you with bogus information to give you a false sense of assurance.

It is important for you to sieve the advices given and use your intuition on what is the most appropriate line of action to be taken. This way you will be able to live without regrets.

Dominique's Desk

Weekend Reflections- Almost a year in retrospect

What has your philosophy been for the year?

Parenting without the Guilt