Dealing with a preschooler is never easy. Facing endless questions and sudden temper tantrums can make you suffer a meltdown. This month I will be emphasing on how I cope with my boys behaviour.
Do you get this often from your preschooler?
” Mummy, but it’s too difficult, I just can’t do it!!!”
” Why can’t you do it for me like you do EVERYTHING for Roy?”
“I’m too [insert within- tired, hungry, sleepy] to do it now.”
Like my 4yr old we too try to look for the easy way out which would be to either ignore it in
bit that the task will be completed magically by itself. [ Ie: Mummy gets so frustrated from repeatedly asking and does the task for him instead.]
Sometimes it is the case of him underestimating his ability or we as adults underestimating their ability. Some of us, parents, may give the excuse that the child is too young and the task is beyond their ability.
For me, my philosophy would be to let him try it out and if it proves too difficult for him to handle, supply him with the tools needed.
Most young kids learn best hands on as they are more tactile and visual learners. They learn through repetition and constant practice. This is the case for both my boys.
A little prodding and lots of encouragement can make your child excel at things which he never though he was capable of.
It can be simple as:
- Segmenting the task given ( taking the task one small bit at a time)
- Giving specific praise to the child ( not just” good boy” but ” You are making great effort in taking the laundry out from the dryer to the couch upstairs. )
- modeling the steps required to complete the task.
Your enthusiasm at working together with your child to get the task done will make him more open to giving it a go and in the same time pick up new skills or knowledge. It will also make a better learning experience for both parent and child.
In the next few posts I will be touching on how I changed my mindset towards handling my kids outburst and get him to cooperate willingly with me.
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Angeline
January 9, 2009 at 10:31 am (UTC 8) Link to this comment
girl, if its based on that conversation, I don’t think its an ability problem leh… but I love your tactics…. cos’ it rids the laziness of human nature…
if based on that conversation, I see it as he wants your attention. He is jealous that you ‘help’ or in other words ‘pay attention’ to Roy more than him…
I get that alot from Keatkeat too in the past. He refused to accept that being younger needs more attention no matter how I explain. But he knows that its true. He just REFUSED to accept.
I hate siblings jealousy because of my childhood. So I build up Binbin, and so Binbin is so much ‘more developed’ than kids of his age…. so whatever Keatkeat can do, Binbin can do too…*grin*
Angeline’s last blog post..Patience Exhausted
Emma
January 9, 2009 at 10:15 am (UTC 8) Link to this comment
Reading this post is like reading my future. I will keep your tips in mind for the time when my boy is older and will challenge me in the same way your 4-year old does.
Emma’s last blog post..Why kids need family traditions and how to start them
Dominique
January 9, 2009 at 10:53 am (UTC 8) Link to this comment
Hi Emma,
thanks for stopping by. You have a lovely blog too about your little one:)
Dominique
January 9, 2009 at 10:56 am (UTC 8) Link to this comment
@Angeline,
sibiling jelousy can’t be removed but it can be reduced. I know that Ryan is trying to get more attention and am trying my best not to play into his tactics. Now at 2 Roy is able to do most of the stuff that Ryan do. Being younger he is also more willing to help out and will even cheerfully say ” I help Kor Kor(Ryan) ” and start moving the clothes himself. It works well as a motivator for him when he sees his younger brother helping him out.
dominiquegoh.com » Blog Archive » Changing Your Parental Mindset
January 14, 2009 at 2:55 pm (UTC 8) Link to this comment
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January 15, 2009 at 2:17 am (UTC 8) Link to this comment
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February 4, 2009 at 3:21 pm (UTC 8) Link to this comment
[...] month I was blogging about Encouraging your Reluctant Pre-schooler. This month I will be focusing on how I deal with temper tantrums. [ This post is adapted from my [...]
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March 21, 2009 at 6:23 am (UTC 8) Link to this comment
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